Shane Kroetsch

Dark and Introspective Fiction

books

The “Why I’m So Tired” Update

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This is a bit of a long post for me, but it’s been a while, so I want to get everyone caught up and share some gratitude.

In October, I posted two episodes of Stories from the Dark to celebrate the spookiest of months, including a story titled The Devil that is exactly 666 words long. I also had an amazing opportunity to be interviewed on The Writers’ Block with Mike Deregowski. We talked all about how I love to scratch a pencil against a piece of yellow-lined paper to calm the voices in my head. It was made more special as it aired on Halloween morning. In case you missed it, you can find it on the Sound Sugar Radio website, look for episode 51. Thank you again, Mike!

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) which means ALL THE WRITING. This year I’m participating in an unofficial manner. That means no to-do list, no weird projects, only writing, plotting, and editing. I’ve teamed up with a few other members of the Alexandra Writers’ Centre Society in a sort of accountability group. The goal is not word count, but to write every day, and to support each other in the process. I’m only keeping up with one of these things, and even there I’m struggling.

I finished the first week at just under 8,000 words. Not bad. I’m already behind on my current work-in-progress, and now it’s looking like it will be shorter when finished than I hoped. These things are renting a lot of space in my head, which slows down the whole process even more. The current bright spot in my writing life is a short story I’m working on to submit to Pulp Kings Eight from Stray Books. So far, it’s come together quick, and the edit is going well. Good thing because the deadline is this Saturday.

Speaking of submitting stories, I have exciting news in that regard. Late last year, my story Identity was accepted for publication in WonderShift, the Alexandra Writers’ Centre Society’s 40th Anniversary Anthology.

This past Friday, I got to read Identity in front of a room full of actual people! I am beyond honoured to be included with many other talented local writers and poets. I speak about it as often as I can, but community in any creative endeavour is important. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at making these connections because I’m tired and cranky most of the time and would rather hide from the world, but I am grateful to be a part of this wonderful group, even in a small way.

Identity isn’t the only story I’ve had accepted recently. Lampblack Books put out a call for submissions earlier in the year for their new anthology, The Planchette Vol. 1, and my story Remember was accepted! The launch was postponed due to health restrictions, but I know the Lampblack team is working hard on getting the anthology ready for release. I’ll update as soon as I know more.

I understand how fortunate I am to have had these opportunities come my way this year, but they weren’t always my focus. When I started my writing journey, a huge part of my goal as a creative freight train was to show that anyone can do the things I do. We can all follow our dreams, even if the steps we take are small. The potential for this hit me hard at the WonderShift launch on Friday when I looked down at the book sale table,

Yes, so many amazing books by local authors and poets, plus, mine are there too. But that’s not all.

I started Pencil on Paper late in 2018 so I could publish my books. I had no idea what I was doing but was fortunate to have close friends that were able to help me bring my very specific visions to life. When I left my day job early in 2019, I convinced one of those friends, the one and only Kaleigh Kanary, to jump on board to help me grow the business and truly live our best creative lives. Wonder Twin powers, activate!

Nothing looks the same today as it did three years ago, that goes without saying. Out of all the bullshit and loss we’ve had to put up with, here’s something positive to focus on, something that inspires me more than I can put into words.

In the last three years, Kaleigh has created seven published or soon to be published book covers (shown in the picture above are Uncommon Grounds by The Espresso Poetry Collective, WonderShift, and the two with my name on them). She completed her Professional Editing Certificate from Mount Royal University and has, to date, finished five full book edits. She has designed websites, created all of PoP’s marketing materials, and a million social media posts. If asked, she’ll say she isn’t a poet. If you go to her website, kaleighkanary.com, you’ll see that she most certainly is. She is a testament to what throwing a middle finger up to what society says we should be, and following your heart, can look like.

I’m sharing this with you as more than an example of what is possible. I want to be very clear that while I am the dancing monkey in this publishing endeavour, the entity playing the organ is Pencil on Paper, and Pencil on Paper is a team. I am grateful to be Kaleigh’s business partner and proud to be her friend. This journey hasn’t always been easy, but I know when I look back it will have been worth it.

Thank you for following along. Until next time, I hope you are well.

Shane

Pandemics, Real and Imagined

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Image via @mcpheeceo

Any rational human being should be able to look at their life and say,

“You know what, that thing scares me a little, I think I’ll stay away from it.”

Apparently, I’m not rational. I’m also terrible at taking my own advice, choosing to run toward my fears instead of away from them.

I don’t know when or where zombies became such a problem for me. It’s like one day, poof, the mere thought of them keeps me up at night. I’ve never been one to watch them on TV, movies, or read about them in books, with one notable exception, that being World War Z. Oh wait, there’s the Resident Evil movies too. Anyway, like I was saying…

In this instance, I took it one step further. I didn’t just indulge; I wrote a damn book about them. On top of that, they’re not just zombies, they’re pathogen zombies, so it’s like a pandemic. My timing is either perfect, or it’s crap. I guess we’re about to find out. For one, I’m hoping people are looking for something to read in between searching the land for toilet paper.

I’m pretty sure this story has been told before, but let’s take it from the top. Near the end of 2014, as far as my shitty memory can recall, a storm hit the east coast of Canada and the US that threaten to ruin a lot of people’s day. Flights were cancelled and in New York, a curfew set in place. Because I’m the paranoid type, I immediately began to ponder what it might be covering up. The real storm was a bit of a dud. The storm that started to build in my mind, at least to me, was something much more interesting.

Unfortunately, it got a bit messy from there. I started the story, then set it aside. I picked it up for Nanowrimo the year after, then set it aside again. My intention was to publish it along with a collection of short stories before the end of 2017. It turned out that the storm story wasn’t nearly ready, and self-publishing was a little more involved than I thought, so I focused on the collection. That was published a year ago February, and you would think that would give me all sorts of time to get the novel done. Like I mentioned in the beginning, here is where life took some turns on me that I hadn’t anticipated.

A job that I wasn’t super fond of started making me miserable, but I got packaged off. Hooray, right? I decided to drag my best friend onto the creative freight train. Hooray again! So many good ideas! Then life gave me the middle finger and whole new challenges stood in my way. Somewhere in the mess, I decided to make the original Storm novel book two of a three-part series, and I wrote what is now known as Into the Storm.

Into came fairly quick. I tend to focus on how shitty human beings are and explore that in my work, but it’s dark in ways that I haven’t written about before. I was pretty impressed with the first draft but going back to it after a couple of weeks I saw that it needed a lot of work. I believe the words I used were, “this is garbage.” So, I did what is becoming my process, I moved things around by millimetres until I was happy enough with it to push it out into the world. That time is now. Here’s a fun little teaser that we put together for it.

But wait, there’s more. Book two, Surviving the Storm, will be released in three months. Book three, Chasing the Storm, will arrive two months after that. Seems a little crazy, right? Welcome to being me. I will readily admit that it’s a lot to deal with, but I’ve been given a chance to take a shot, and I’m going to take it.

Regardless of everything else going on, I’m proud of the final product. I’m proud that the vision Kaleigh and I have been working on is finally bearing fruit. All going well, this is just the beginning.

Not that I want to dwell on it, but the world is a scary and confusing place right now. If you’re isolating, or just need to get away from things for a bit, I know of a good ebook or two you should check out…

Into the Storm

This and That but Mostly the Other

Until next time, stay safe and well.

Making Old Things Better

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I told myself growing up that I wouldn’t be someone who is busy all the time. I’m here to tell you I failed.

I have a talent for coming up with make-work projects. Cars, guitars, bikes, and repurposing random things into furniture. Books fall into this category as well, but more on that later. My list of projects has been shrinking of late, but I’m sure I’ll come up with more soon.

The latest build came about because I wanted a new corner shelf near the entrance of the house. I’ve built a couple other crate shelves before, but this time wanted to try something different. We found the crates at Ikea. Because they need to be assembled, I thought it would be easier to refinish. I have a quick and easy refinish method that has become my go-to. Paint, distress, stain, and poly. For most projects, it’s a straightforward process. This was not one of those times. It was a pain because of all the slats and nooks and crannies. When we finished, I swore I would never do this again, but I’ve said that before. When it came time to assemble, I wasn’t happy with simply backing them into the corner, so I came up with an arrangement that I think works well. Once in place, washers and bolts run through the slats keep it together and minimise the worry about it shifting or tipping. The finishing touches came from all over the house. The J is in memoriam of my mother-in-law, Jane Arams.

The books came from my Paternal Grandma. She joined a book club in the 50’s and recently decided to pass them along. The camera is something I picked up at a garage sale years ago, but it shows my appreciation for photography and old things.

I purchased the log vase about a year ago, but it never really found a home, until now. The sunflowers are for my wife, Alicia, because they are her favourite flower.

The side tables I built last year were more straight forward. The wood came from the attic of an old shed on my Maternal Grandma’s property as we were readying it for sale. After moving our main floor living room around, I knew we needed some sort of table for coffee cups and books as we sit by the fire, and of course I would rather build than buy. They aren’t perfect, like most things in life, but that in itself reminded me of a few things. Slow down, pay attention, and eventually, things will get better.

My desk was the project that started this whole situation off. I’m not sure how I got the idea, but after finding a pommel horse for free on the local buy and sell, I tore it down and made a plan. It doesn’t get used as much as it should, I tend to sit down on the couch and do much of my work and writing in front of the TV, but it’s something I’m proud to say that I made. It’s unique, and functional, which to me is a win-win.

The anniversary of my first self-published effort is fast approaching. It was intended to be practice for my first novel, but as that project blew up into something more complex, a lot of time has passed, and I find myself more than a little out of practice. At least that’s what the anxiety is telling me. Somewhere along the line I decided to put together a companion, a short-short compilation. After realizing the amount of work I was creating, another project on top of a number of other projects, I decided to add the new stories to the original compilation. The book now benefits from new and better stories, a refined edit, and a few small tweaks to the cover. It also looks a lot nicer, thanks to a little program called Vellum.

Traditionally I format for print using Word, and for ebook using a program called Jutoh. There’s nothing wrong with either, but I’m a huge fan of simple and intuitive. As I write this, I have approved the interior file, and ordered test copies. The plan is to relaunch on its anniversary, February 21st, but it will be a quiet affair. I wanted this effort to bring it to the level I had hoped for it initially. It’s never too late to be better.

If you want to learn more about Vellum, click here.

In other news… Into the Storm is officially in the copy edit stage. If I haven’t upset my editor too much, it should be ready for another pass soon. The cover is coming together, and I’m excited for the final product. The launch. Is planned for April, and it’s a little weird being so far ahead of schedule, but we have an ambitious launch plan so. I know we will need all the time we can get.

My focus for the moment is going through and making revisions to Surviving the Storm. I haven’t looked at it in a while, not really since I chopped the first 2,000 words or so after I realized it wasn’t starting in the right place. I thought it was in pretty good shape, that opinion quickly changed. As you can see, there is a lot of red pen to deal with, or in the case of the first few pages, a lot of pencil.

It’s daunting, but I know I’ll get through it. I need to, I’ve been working on this book for almost three years now, and I’m ready to move on to any one of the eight other projects that I have in the queue. I know I’ll be proud of it, but it’s a moment in time. To some extent I’m ready to show how I’ve grown, how I’m better as a writer.

Shane

Star Wars, Christmas, and a Touch of Book Depression

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December is historically a busy month, and this year was no exception. It didn’t help that I started a new job in October, and that meant no vacation days to take a break from the mayhem. I know, poor me…

A highlight for me was seeing Star Wars: The Last Jedi on opening night. It was a bit of a last-minute decision, I thought it would be tough to get tickets, little did I know that we would be sitting in a theatre less than a third full. While it may have been bad for the theatre (people really need to put more effort into supporting local businesses), it was good for this burnt out introvert.

True to form, I started blubbering as soon as the title screen started rolling. Don’t worry, nobody noticed. I think… Star Wars has been a part of my life for pretty much as long as I can remember, and as silly as it might be to some, it’s a pretty big deal for me. This being the end of the original story arc made it even more powerful. Plus, it introduced me to my new spirit animal (or droid, as the case may be).

Soon after, sleigh bells were ringing, and reindeer were flying. As odd as it may seem, Christmas Day was my only day of respite during the busy and stressful time. After the arrival of our first-born, we decided that the day would be just for us and the kids. No rushing through our morning and driving all over the country, only to sit in a cramped and noisy space wondering when if it was time to go home yet. Instead, we open presents, make a nice breakfast, and then relax for the rest of the day. It was wonderful, and Ruby the anxiety dog didn’t mind either.

New Year’s Eve was a long day. I had to head out of town on a last-minute trip for work. By the time I got home I’d covered almost 500 kilometres. I was beat, but we had plans. I walked in the door, got changed, and then it was time to walk back out again. As a family, we endured aluminum bleachers in slightly below freezing temperatures to watch the New Year’s Eve fireworks. I have to admit, it was pretty exciting.

After the show had concluded, we waited for the parking lot to clear, then stopped to pick up dinner (mmmm, Popeye’s) and went home for the rest of the night. My head hit the pillow at 12:11am. It was just enough for me to give 2019 the finger on its way out, and very nicely ask 2020 to take it easy on me. It’s been a tough year, but then, I believe a lot of you out there might understand that. Let’s just say, I’m done with it. I give up. I surrender.

Anyway, on to the books. That’s got to be better, right?

Right?

On December 8th I was a part of a “Meet the Author” day, hosted by Homegrown House + Pantry Inc in Airdrie. They are a champion of the “buy local” movement, and I was very proud to have been invited. It gave me the chance to catch up with other local authors, talk a little business, and get my ugly mug in front of potential customers.

The best part, we all got to do a reading that was live streamed on Facebook, an opportunity I’ve never had before! Of course, I chose to read one of my weirder stories. I always worry how they’re going to be taken but was pleasantly surprised at the end when I looked up and saw a lot of smiling faces staring back at me.

This, dear reader, is pretty much where the fun ends.

The process of writing and the business of publishing has been causing more hurt feelings than happy ones lately. The week before Christmas, something in my brain snapped. The hurt and the disappointment was too much, so I packed everything up and shoved it in a closet. I’m not kidding, books, marketing and reference materials, pencils, and note pads. I needed a break, and this was the only way I could make it work. Deep down, I knew it would be temporary. If I had been slightly less dramatic, that fact might have filtered down to the people around me. Unfortunately, it didn’t, and the act caused problems of its own. In the end though, I’m glad it happened. It only took a week before my mind started running again. Ideas for stories came, and the drive to get things done did as well. That being said, I could tell that the freight train that would normally be barreling down the tracks at full tilt had eased up a little. I seem to have found a slower, more reasonable gear. I want my deadlines to be more reasonable, and to be able to manage the workload without making me and the people around me miserable.

So, here’s what the next few months are going to look like. I’m going to work on being a better writer. Hopefully, these will help.

Instead of putting out a new short, short story compilation. I want to beef up the existing compilation and tweak the cover and format to make it the best it can be. I want to take a couple of my unpublished stories and set them aside for the purpose of submitting for publication. It’s not because I’m after exposure, but I honestly believe the process will help me DO BETTER.

The Storm series is still moving along, but I’ve pushed the first installment back to April. This will give us time to make the finished product as polished as our current skill set allows, and to test out some new promotion ideas. I hope you stay tuned for more.

That’s all for now, friends. Happy New Year! I wish the best of everything for you in the months to come. Here’s a spoopy ghost for no other reason than you’re wonderful.

Shane

Tattoo Fever and News About Books

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It’s been ten years since my last tattoo. I’m pretty particular, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that it took something pretty important for me to head in for a new one, or in this case, three things that made a huge impact on me this year. This is a bit of a long story. Hold on tight.

Initially the plan was to have each of the elements stand on their own. I had a hard time deciding where to place them and which one I would get first. That’s when the idea came to mash them all together. The image of a messy desk stuck in my brain, so I printed everything out and started ripping up paper. I reached out to an amazing local artist for a consult, and soon enough the appointment was booked. If you’re in Airdrie, I highly recommend checking out Danica with Human Kanvas. I gave her a couple scraps of paper and a lot of trust, and she gave me something to be proud of.

I talked about my plans and introduction to self-publishing last month. The process was stressful, but it showed me how wonderful it can be to spread your creative wings. With all of the good feelings still front and centre, I talked my best friend into helping me take my publishing company Pencil on Paper (insert hyperlink) and grow it into something more. Now we offer services to help writers bring their own dreams to life. It’s been a rollercoaster ride, and perhaps the tattoo was a little premature, but even if this goes no further it’s been one of the biggest experiences of my life, so that’s why the PoP logo is right up top.

Do better comes next. It became a near daily reminder that we all can do better, and it’s something we should all be aspiring to. It doesn’t matter how far along you think you are, how good you think you are, there’s always room to do better. While writing it out myself would make sense, I really wanted someone special to write it out for me. Long story short, because there’s a lot going on behind the scenes with this that I don’t feel it necessary to share, I reached out to an artist, singer-songwriter seems too simple a term, that I am a huge fan of. The idea came to me, and it was just crazy enough to give it a shot. You only live once, right? I reached out, and they graciously obliged. I still feel weird about it, because I’m weird and why wouldn’t I feel strange about asking a public figure for something?

So it goes is on the bottom. I typed it out on my 80-year-old Remington portable typewriter. Kurt Vonnegut wrote it originally, and used it to what I feel is great effect in his novel Slaughterhouse Five. The last two years have not been easy on a personal level. It’s been a time filled with loss and conflict, sometimes brought on by the very things that are supposed to bring happiness. We’re constantly put into situations to learn a lesson, but the path isn’t always easy. It’s up to meet the challenge, or not. Life gets in the way of your dreams. People leave. Hearts are broken. Nothing is forever. So it goes.

The finished product.

Now it’s time to talk about all the books that I made mention of last month.

The opening novella in The Storm series will be off to final edit in two weeks. Then it will be time to format the interior and finish up the cover. It seems rushed, and it is, but it’s necessary so that we have enough time to proof and order test copies before launch in February.

This time around I’m looking to try something new with distribution. I distributed This and That through Ingram Spark and have few complaints. The plan for The Storm is still bubbling away in my brain, but at the moment what I want is to launch the ebook on Kindle Unlimited, and print a limited run of paperbacks for local shows and give-aways.

As if there’s not enough going on, we’re also about to launch a new short, short story compilation. It’s titled More of the Other, and if it’s not apparent, is an add-on to This and That but Mostly the Other. Would you like a copy of the new compilation for free? I’m going to send the file to anyone who subscribes to blog notifications here. If that’s not your thing, click the contact link in the header or send me a message through Twitter or Facebook (scroll down for links) and tell me what your favourite story is from This and That, and I’ll still send it along to you. Haven’t read This and That but Mostly the Other? It’s available for only $0.99 on Kindle and Kobo! You can find the links here.

Until next time…


Shane

An Off-Grid Cabin and Too Many Books

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This past September I did something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, I rented a cabin to get away for a couple nights, all by myself. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it was a huge deal for me.

The reasons it was a big deal are many. It really comes down to the fact that the last year or so has been tough when it comes to work and family obligations, and I’m terrible at taking care of myself. I had to make a decision to put myself first. The thing is, much like everything I do, I went a little overboard.

I started by searching for a small place that was out of the way. Not much was catching my eye, until something did. Searching through Airbnb I found an ad for an off-grid cabin in the middle of a field. Perfect! So, I signed up, which was a whole process in itself, and started planning for my stay. This is when I started to second guess what the hell I’d gotten myself into… There would be no electricity, and only a wood burning stove for heat and to prepare meals. Luckily I booked a couple days before the first nights of below freezing temperatures so at least I would have running water!

The big day arrived, so I loaded up my cooler and writing gear, then hit the road. It only took about an hour to arrive, and it was easy enough to find. I will say that driving through a pasture in a car with near bald summer tires was fun.

I tucked the car in behind the gate because I was told if I didn’t the horses would eat bits off of it. After a quick look around, I hauled all of my things inside and settled in.

It was a really interesting space, but I truly knew it was meant to be when I found a creepy Thomas in the windowsill. I’ll give you a hint, it’s because I’m known as a freight train. More on this later.

It took a bit to learn the ins and outs of cooking on a wood burning stove, but I managed to finish dinner before I starved to death.

The rest of my first evening was spent reading and writing by battery powered lantern.

Two things became clear that night. Being able to see twice as many stars in the sky as you do in the city is inspiring and something I need more of. The second is that walking across a pitch black yard to get to the outhouse is even less fun than you would imagine. I also slept like a damned baby. It was wonderful.

The next day was spent killing flies, not writing as much as I had hoped, but reading and napping a lot more than I thought I would.

Even though I had no other distractions, the day passed quicker than I thought it would. Soon enough the sun was dipping below the hills, and it was time once again to exist in the dark.

Unfortunately the second night I didn’t sleep nearly as well. Likely because of the nine hours of sleep and three hours of naps from the day before. I was up with the sun, had a simple breakfast, then started cleaning up to go home. To be honest, I was a little sad to be leaving, but I needed to get back to my responsibilities. As I crept down the ruts to the gravel road, I said goodbye to the horses, then made my way home.

For almost two full days I did not see a single other human being. It was exquisite! I’m about as introverted as they come, and I don’t remember the last time I was alone for more than a few hours. I very much look forward to doing it again one day. If you’d like a link to the listing, send me a note and I’d be happy to share it.

Okay, let’s talk about books.

Earlier I mentioned that I am sometimes lovingly referred to as a freight train. I hope it’s lovingly anyway… Once I start in on something, especially creative projects, it takes a lot to slow me down. And so, please allow me to introduce you to my plans for 2020.

Three years ago I started writing my first novel. It stalled in the early stages, it sat for a while, then eventually I came around and got it finished. By finished, I mean I had a shitty first draft. The original plan was to publish a collection of short stories and the novel by the end of 2018. That turned into publishing the collection in February of 2019, and putting the novel off for a future date. Sometimes life gets in the way and sometimes publishing books is more work than you think.

Let’s flash forward to August of 2019. I thought the novel was in pretty good shape. That is until I spent the weekend at the When Words Collide festival. I learned a lot, maybe too much for my simple brain to absorb, but when I walked away I knew I needed to make some big changes.

It started by cutting two chapters worth of words from the beginning, and a few other small tweaks. Where it ended up was with a plan to write a novella as an intro, and one as a finale. This is in addition to a graphic novel that I’m proud to be creating with my business parter and best friend which we plan to have available for next Christmas. So, yeah. I’m publishing four books next year…

This year I was given a unique opportunity to focus on catching up on life and to get a lot of writing done. Whether I succeeded in either, we’re on track to release Into the Storm early in 2020. Two months later, Surviving the Storm will come. Two months after that, we will release Chasing the Storm. I have some fun extras in between too. By fun, I mean dark. Then the focus will be on Beyond the Divide, finishing novel number two, and getting started on novel number three. I know it won’t be easy, but I have to take my shot. Everyone deserves to go after their dreams, and I don’t want to let my chance slip by.

Until next month, take care friends.

Shane