Shane Kroetsch

Dark and Introspective Fiction

Blog Post

I’m brOKen

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It’s been eleven months since I last posted any sort of update. Part of the reason is that I’ve had too much happening in my personal life to focus on the business of writing as much as I would like. The other part is that, even though I’m the writer, finding the words to express the drastic changes I have experienced since the beginning of the year isn’t easy. I’m finally going to give it my best shot.

This has been a year of letting go.

I let go of the belief that suffering is the best way to deal with a broken relationship. This led my marriage of seventeen and a half years to end in January. With the turn of two calendar pages, everything flipped upside down and inside out. Possessions were divided, the house sold. While the chaotic real estate market was navigated, I was grateful to have a roof over my head, but it wasn’t a home. That situation helped me to let go of pre-conceived concepts around what home and family means or must be.

This has been a year of holding on.

Holding onto the belief that living an authentic life, being open and honest, is the way. It makes a messy and complicated world lighter. It gives everyone around you permission to do the same. I’ve seen the harm the alternatives bring, both to myself, and the people I love. It’s been a year of holding onto my relationship with my boys, focusing on it in ways that I should have long ago. On good days I see hope growing out of the pain. Because it’s me, never being completely sure if it will last, but trying with every ounce of my being to make sure that it does.

I knew this year wouldn’t look anywhere near the same at the end as it did when it started, but there have been surprises. Then again, with two months left until we proclaim the arrival of a new year, I know the changes I’ve seen are only the beginning. Seeds are being planted. Work is happening in the background, slow and steady. I normally move at the speed of a runaway freight train, and there will always be a time to hustle, but I understand now better than ever how important balance is. It allows for the possibility of a future worth looking forward to. One last thing to hold onto, then.

Thank you for following along. Until next time, I hope you are well.

Shane

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The “Why I’m So Tired” Update

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This is a bit of a long post for me, but it’s been a while, so I want to get everyone caught up and share some gratitude.

In October, I posted two episodes of Stories from the Dark to celebrate the spookiest of months, including a story titled The Devil that is exactly 666 words long. I also had an amazing opportunity to be interviewed on The Writers’ Block with Mike Deregowski. We talked all about how I love to scratch a pencil against a piece of yellow-lined paper to calm the voices in my head. It was made more special as it aired on Halloween morning. In case you missed it, you can find it on the Sound Sugar Radio website, look for episode 51. Thank you again, Mike!

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) which means ALL THE WRITING. This year I’m participating in an unofficial manner. That means no to-do list, no weird projects, only writing, plotting, and editing. I’ve teamed up with a few other members of the Alexandra Writers’ Centre Society in a sort of accountability group. The goal is not word count, but to write every day, and to support each other in the process. I’m only keeping up with one of these things, and even there I’m struggling.

I finished the first week at just under 8,000 words. Not bad. I’m already behind on my current work-in-progress, and now it’s looking like it will be shorter when finished than I hoped. These things are renting a lot of space in my head, which slows down the whole process even more. The current bright spot in my writing life is a short story I’m working on to submit to Pulp Kings Eight from Stray Books. So far, it’s come together quick, and the edit is going well. Good thing because the deadline is this Saturday.

Speaking of submitting stories, I have exciting news in that regard. Late last year, my story Identity was accepted for publication in WonderShift, the Alexandra Writers’ Centre Society’s 40th Anniversary Anthology.

This past Friday, I got to read Identity in front of a room full of actual people! I am beyond honoured to be included with many other talented local writers and poets. I speak about it as often as I can, but community in any creative endeavour is important. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at making these connections because I’m tired and cranky most of the time and would rather hide from the world, but I am grateful to be a part of this wonderful group, even in a small way.

Identity isn’t the only story I’ve had accepted recently. Lampblack Books put out a call for submissions earlier in the year for their new anthology, The Planchette Vol. 1, and my story Remember was accepted! The launch was postponed due to health restrictions, but I know the Lampblack team is working hard on getting the anthology ready for release. I’ll update as soon as I know more.

I understand how fortunate I am to have had these opportunities come my way this year, but they weren’t always my focus. When I started my writing journey, a huge part of my goal as a creative freight train was to show that anyone can do the things I do. We can all follow our dreams, even if the steps we take are small. The potential for this hit me hard at the WonderShift launch on Friday when I looked down at the book sale table,

Yes, so many amazing books by local authors and poets, plus, mine are there too. But that’s not all.

I started Pencil on Paper late in 2018 so I could publish my books. I had no idea what I was doing but was fortunate to have close friends that were able to help me bring my very specific visions to life. When I left my day job early in 2019, I convinced one of those friends, the one and only Kaleigh Kanary, to jump on board to help me grow the business and truly live our best creative lives. Wonder Twin powers, activate!

Nothing looks the same today as it did three years ago, that goes without saying. Out of all the bullshit and loss we’ve had to put up with, here’s something positive to focus on, something that inspires me more than I can put into words.

In the last three years, Kaleigh has created seven published or soon to be published book covers (shown in the picture above are Uncommon Grounds by The Espresso Poetry Collective, WonderShift, and the two with my name on them). She completed her Professional Editing Certificate from Mount Royal University and has, to date, finished five full book edits. She has designed websites, created all of PoP’s marketing materials, and a million social media posts. If asked, she’ll say she isn’t a poet. If you go to her website, kaleighkanary.com, you’ll see that she most certainly is. She is a testament to what throwing a middle finger up to what society says we should be, and following your heart, can look like.

I’m sharing this with you as more than an example of what is possible. I want to be very clear that while I am the dancing monkey in this publishing endeavour, the entity playing the organ is Pencil on Paper, and Pencil on Paper is a team. I am grateful to be Kaleigh’s business partner and proud to be her friend. This journey hasn’t always been easy, but I know when I look back it will have been worth it.

Thank you for following along. Until next time, I hope you are well.

Shane

Chasing the Storm

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That’s right, it’s launch day, and we’ve got some wonderful shenanigans to share with you!

First up, let’s set the stage with a reading from Chapter 5 of Chasing the Storm.

Next, a proper introduction to the Pencil on Paper team. Kaleigh asks me a bunch of questions about the end of The Storm series, writing in general, and what we have planned for the rest of the year and beyond.

If you’re on Instagram or Twitter, keep your eyes open for some general mayhem as we head into the world to celebrate the day. I hope you join us for the fun! In a virtual sense of course, at least for now…

Don’t forget the whole reason we’re here. Chasing the Storm, the third installment of the The Storm series is available now on Kindle, Kobo, and through the Pencil on paper webstore. I hope you have a chance to check it out!

Until next time, stay well.

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Chasing the Storm: The Pre-Order is Live!

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Today is the day, the pre-order for Chasing the Storm is live!

It’s been two years since the storm forever changed the world. An experienced hunting guide, Krystal, leads a group of amateurs on an outing to commemorate the anniversary of the event. After stumbling upon a facility concealed in the wilds of northern Ontario, she is forced into a conflict she thought was far behind her.

With daylight fading, the hunting party is invited to stay with the promise of a luxurious night out from the cold. Far from being an oasis, the facility stands for those intent on using an engineered disease for their own benefit. Once the nature of their situation is revealed, help comes in the form of a kindred spirit who shares their urgent need to escape, and the group faces a brutal struggle to free themselves from a place few are meant to leave.

In the final thrilling installment of the Storm trilogy, Chasing the Storm highlights how easily the quest for stature and dominance can turn us against our humanity, and proves how surviving alone does not mean you are immune from the reach of the storm.

You can find all the details on where to hind it by clicking here. If you need an introduction to the world of The Storm, now is the time. In honour of the final book in the series being released into the world, I’ve introduced some very special pricing on book one, Into the Storm, on Kindle and Kobo.

May is Short Story Month, so I’ll be sharing written and audio stories here, and on Pencil on Paper. Something creepy this way comes!

More updates and announcements are coming soon. Please stay tuned!

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Happy Birthday

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Today is the second birthday of my first book, a collection of short stories titled This and That but Mostly the Other. The process of publishing This and That was me jumping into the unknown with both feet, something up to that point I wasn’t necessarily used to doing. It is a history of where I’ve come from as a writer, but more important than that, a sense of what the future would bring.

That future continues to unfold, and as far as author Shane goes, nothing looks the same as it did before I pressed the publish button for the first time. Starting a business, growing that business with a human being more like me than anyone I’ve ever met (yes, that should scare all of you, Wonder Twins power activate!). I suspect that very little will look the same in two years time, and I look forward to it.

Today is also my birthday. Let’s not worry about the number. It’s not important, is it? What’s important is that even though I’m so old and tired, I’m still moving forward, and as hard as it can be sometimes I’m still trying to do better. I have a lot of better to do, at least in my opinion. While I’ve been on this amazing writing journey, much of what’s going on in the background hasn’t been much fun. Jobs and relationships and pandemics. In this space as well, I suspect very little will look the same in two years time, and once again, I very much look forward to it.

Shane Kroetsch Image

As much as I wanted to, I don’t have a new book for you today. The release date of the current work in progress has been pushed to July because, well, 2020 happened. Hopefully I don’t need to explain. If you would like a little insight, check out my blog post from December, Keep Moving Forward. What I do have is a completed manuscript for Chasing the Storm, the third instalment of The Storm series. I won’t use the word final, because as much as I want to move on to other things, I can see that one day I might pick it back up. I’m proud of it, both for the quality of the story and how well it’s coming together. You may not believe it when you see the first page of edits, but I promise it’s true.

The opening scene is old, one cut from Surviving the Storm that went through a perspective change and was in need of some general tidying up. While it’s just entering the first round of edits, I’m happy with it. This is not a feeling I get very often, so one I’m grateful to be able to share. I can’t wait for you to see it!

The last two years have been a whirlwind. I want this year for me to be not so much about redefining myself, as finding a way to be myself that is sustainable. I want to be more responsible with my time and energy. To be more realistic with my goals and workload. The freight train is still rolling, but at a speed that means it will continue to do so for a long, long time.

So, happy birthday to This and That. Happy birthday to me. Here’s to a year filled with amazing opportunities. Now, bring on the cake, and the pie, and then some more cake.

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Photo by Angèle Kamp on Unsplash

Keep Moving Forward

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Image courtesy of the AM/FM 2020 Xmas Dumpster Fire Channel. I’m not kidding, check it out.

Hello, friends. Isn’t the world a strange and terrifying place? For me, it really has turned out to be a rough few weeks in what’s been a difficult couple of years dealing with this stupid pandemic.

What’s that? It’s only been nine months?

Well, shit…

Anyway. In March I included a picture on a blog post that reads, “I wanted zombies, this virus sucks”. As we enter another round of lockdowns, I find myself wondering if the zombies might have been the better choice. Every day a new bucket of sewage is dumped onto the burning pile that is 2020. The smell gets worse and it’s harder to see through the smoke. It’s like someone cancelled all the good news. What I’ve been left with is that life is hard, and everything sucks.

This may be true, but we have to keep moving forward.

As one half of Pencil on Paper, I spent most of November preparing for our first in-person market. Not only was it a distraction from the garbage fire this year has turned out to be, it represented a great opportunity to launch our business into the world. A lot of time and energy was put into building a display and getting product ready.

Little of it was easy but seeing it all come together gave me something I hadn’t felt in a while. Joy in a creative endeavour. Pride. It was going to be amazing. Three days before the market, in response to growing COVID infection numbers in Alberta, new restrictions on gatherings were put in place. Because the organizers weren’t able to pivot in time, the event was cancelled. Disappointing doesn’t begin to describe the situation.

But we decided to keep moving.

All of our focus was put into finishing the updated pencilonpaper.ca and turning the new online store live. More time, more energy, more stress. Let me tell you, though, I had a big, stupid grin on my face processing that first order. We did a thing! We did an amazing thing!

Having something positive to focus on in these times is important because the pressure that the world puts on us and the fear of what darkness hides around the corner doesn’t seem to go away. The stress for some has become overwhelming. I’ve never seen my friends, family, and community struggle as much as they have over the last few months. Everyone I know is tired. I feel it too. Just when you think you’ve hit bottom, that you’re as broken as you can be, you find another level to fall. That brings us nicely to what happened this past Tuesday.

Another round of even harsher restrictions has been announced. For the next four weeks, no social gatherings are allowed, inside or outside. Businesses are forced to run with little or no capacity, at least those that weren’t told to close, or have no way of staying open under the current rules. People will be even more isolated. People will lose their incomes in what should be one of the happiest times of the year. We’re already in a place where people are fighting back. Enemies have been created where none exist. Opinions and privilege have become more important than facts. If facts even exist anymore, it’s become increasingly difficult to tell. Life at the moment is confusing and scary.

But it’s how we face it that matters. Now more than ever, it’s important we keep moving forward.

How we do that is with kindness, for ourselves, and for others. We have to reach out for help as much as we can and be there to help as much as we have the energy for. We need to keep in touch more (this I’m not so good at, so here’s a reminder to myself to do better). It’s especially important that we support creators and small businesses. That means buying a painting or book direct from the person who made it, streaming a live concert until we can gather for one in person, and stopping in at the store up the street run by one of your neighbours instead of the nationwide big box that won’t go anywhere, no matter how bad this pandemic gets. If anything good has come from this mess, it’s the focus on buying local. I hope that doesn’t change.

Yes, we will get through this. No, it won’t be easy. I like to think it won’t be quite as hard if we remember what being part of a community really means. And hey, at least it’s not really zombies. Not yet, anyway…

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