Shane Kroetsch

Dark and Introspective Fiction

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Happy Birthday

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Today is the second birthday of my first book, a collection of short stories titled This and That but Mostly the Other. The process of publishing This and That was me jumping into the unknown with both feet, something up to that point I wasn’t necessarily used to doing. It is a history of where I’ve come from as a writer, but more important than that, a sense of what the future would bring.

That future continues to unfold, and as far as author Shane goes, nothing looks the same as it did before I pressed the publish button for the first time. Starting a business, growing that business with a human being more like me than anyone I’ve ever met (yes, that should scare all of you, Wonder Twins power activate!). I suspect that very little will look the same in two years time, and I look forward to it.

Today is also my birthday. Let’s not worry about the number. It’s not important, is it? What’s important is that even though I’m so old and tired, I’m still moving forward, and as hard as it can be sometimes I’m still trying to do better. I have a lot of better to do, at least in my opinion. While I’ve been on this amazing writing journey, much of what’s going on in the background hasn’t been much fun. Jobs and relationships and pandemics. In this space as well, I suspect very little will look the same in two years time, and once again, I very much look forward to it.

Shane Kroetsch Image

As much as I wanted to, I don’t have a new book for you today. The release date of the current work in progress has been pushed to July because, well, 2020 happened. Hopefully I don’t need to explain. If you would like a little insight, check out my blog post from December, Keep Moving Forward. What I do have is a completed manuscript for Chasing the Storm, the third instalment of The Storm series. I won’t use the word final, because as much as I want to move on to other things, I can see that one day I might pick it back up. I’m proud of it, both for the quality of the story and how well it’s coming together. You may not believe it when you see the first page of edits, but I promise it’s true.

The opening scene is old, one cut from Surviving the Storm that went through a perspective change and was in need of some general tidying up. While it’s just entering the first round of edits, I’m happy with it. This is not a feeling I get very often, so one I’m grateful to be able to share. I can’t wait for you to see it!

The last two years have been a whirlwind. I want this year for me to be not so much about redefining myself, as finding a way to be myself that is sustainable. I want to be more responsible with my time and energy. To be more realistic with my goals and workload. The freight train is still rolling, but at a speed that means it will continue to do so for a long, long time.

So, happy birthday to This and That. Happy birthday to me. Here’s to a year filled with amazing opportunities. Now, bring on the cake, and the pie, and then some more cake.

***

Photo by Angèle Kamp on Unsplash

Keep Moving Forward

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Image courtesy of the AM/FM 2020 Xmas Dumpster Fire Channel. I’m not kidding, check it out.

Hello, friends. Isn’t the world a strange and terrifying place? For me, it really has turned out to be a rough few weeks in what’s been a difficult couple of years dealing with this stupid pandemic.

What’s that? It’s only been nine months?

Well, shit…

Anyway. In March I included a picture on a blog post that reads, “I wanted zombies, this virus sucks”. As we enter another round of lockdowns, I find myself wondering if the zombies might have been the better choice. Every day a new bucket of sewage is dumped onto the burning pile that is 2020. The smell gets worse and it’s harder to see through the smoke. It’s like someone cancelled all the good news. What I’ve been left with is that life is hard, and everything sucks.

This may be true, but we have to keep moving forward.

As one half of Pencil on Paper, I spent most of November preparing for our first in-person market. Not only was it a distraction from the garbage fire this year has turned out to be, it represented a great opportunity to launch our business into the world. A lot of time and energy was put into building a display and getting product ready.

Little of it was easy but seeing it all come together gave me something I hadn’t felt in a while. Joy in a creative endeavour. Pride. It was going to be amazing. Three days before the market, in response to growing COVID infection numbers in Alberta, new restrictions on gatherings were put in place. Because the organizers weren’t able to pivot in time, the event was cancelled. Disappointing doesn’t begin to describe the situation.

But we decided to keep moving.

All of our focus was put into finishing the updated pencilonpaper.ca and turning the new online store live. More time, more energy, more stress. Let me tell you, though, I had a big, stupid grin on my face processing that first order. We did a thing! We did an amazing thing!

Having something positive to focus on in these times is important because the pressure that the world puts on us and the fear of what darkness hides around the corner doesn’t seem to go away. The stress for some has become overwhelming. I’ve never seen my friends, family, and community struggle as much as they have over the last few months. Everyone I know is tired. I feel it too. Just when you think you’ve hit bottom, that you’re as broken as you can be, you find another level to fall. That brings us nicely to what happened this past Tuesday.

Another round of even harsher restrictions has been announced. For the next four weeks, no social gatherings are allowed, inside or outside. Businesses are forced to run with little or no capacity, at least those that weren’t told to close, or have no way of staying open under the current rules. People will be even more isolated. People will lose their incomes in what should be one of the happiest times of the year. We’re already in a place where people are fighting back. Enemies have been created where none exist. Opinions and privilege have become more important than facts. If facts even exist anymore, it’s become increasingly difficult to tell. Life at the moment is confusing and scary.

But it’s how we face it that matters. Now more than ever, it’s important we keep moving forward.

How we do that is with kindness, for ourselves, and for others. We have to reach out for help as much as we can and be there to help as much as we have the energy for. We need to keep in touch more (this I’m not so good at, so here’s a reminder to myself to do better). It’s especially important that we support creators and small businesses. That means buying a painting or book direct from the person who made it, streaming a live concert until we can gather for one in person, and stopping in at the store up the street run by one of your neighbours instead of the nationwide big box that won’t go anywhere, no matter how bad this pandemic gets. If anything good has come from this mess, it’s the focus on buying local. I hope that doesn’t change.

Yes, we will get through this. No, it won’t be easy. I like to think it won’t be quite as hard if we remember what being part of a community really means. And hey, at least it’s not really zombies. Not yet, anyway…

***

Three Things I Learned Writing Surviving the Storm

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I wrote the first words of what would become Surviving the Storm almost five years ago. During that time, the lessons have been many, and the learning curve steep. With the task of navigating my first series being much closer to the end than the beginning, I wanted to take the opportunity to share a little something about the experience. Here are three things that I’ve learned along the way that I hope to always carry with me.

The world is a confusing and scary place. Move forward with respect.

People suck. We’re territorial and opportunistic. We go out of our way to be terrible to each other. Our own systems and cultures are built around inequality and greed. I want to say you need only look to our past for proof, but truth be told, the present isn’t a whole lot better. That being said, I believe the opportunity for positive change has never been greater.

One such opportunity revolves around the path to reconciliation for Canada’s Indigenous population. I’m doing what I can to understand how we got here and what I can do to be better moving forward. In the spirit of inclusion, I wanted to create a home for something positive. That’s when I found Mati.

As one of the two protagonists of Surviving, I was excited to tell her story, and show the world how strong she is. I used one of the most poignant scenes from the book for a project that paired local artists and writers in a collaboration of creativity. Mati shared a story that her grandmother told her. It was a story that gave her hope for the future. I loved the message, and what it brought to the novel.

Sometime after, I read a book called Elements of Indigenous Style, and it changed everything. It helped me to understand Indigenous culture in a way that I had never been shown before. I wanted to do the right thing, so I reached out to The Nation where Mati’s family would have come from with the intention of starting a discussion about how best to represent her. I never heard back, but as it turns out, that may have been a stroke of luck. Another point made in the book that took a little time to sink in, is that Mati’s story, especially the parts relating to history and origin, are not mine to tell.

I saw no other way forward, so I changed Mati’s background. I made sure certain details still fit from a cultural perspective, but that culture, for better or worse, is no longer showcased in the story. Maybe the line between being inclusive and telling a story that is not your is narrow, and maybe it’s not. What I do know is that I regret putting the first version of that story out into the world. It weighs on me now, and likely will until senility finds me.

I write characters of all ages, backgrounds, and orientations. That doesn’t mean I’m comfortable putting up a billboard with flashing lights to advertise the fact. Whether that’s the right decision, only time will tell. For the moment, I prefer to stay in my lane while I learn and understand so I can move forward with respect.

Don’t be afraid to burn it down and start again.

I’m no <insert your favourite writer here>, but I’m getting better. I see it with each project I finish, especially this one. I still have a lot to learn, though. The road ahead is long. Longer than I sometimes want to admit.

A year ago, I thought Surviving was in good shape. I planned on publishing it last November. Then I attended, my first When Words Collide writing festival. Long story short, it became clear I had started the story in the wrong spot, so I cut the first 3,000 words. A bunch of other issues were brought up as well. The plot had some room for improvement, so I brought in the Alex character. The book was headed in a better direction, but in the back of my mind, a few minor details worried me.

Earlier this year, I put the manuscript out for feedback. An avid reader new to The Storm series came back with a long list of it. This turned out to be both wonderful and disappointing. Disappointing only in the way that it confirmed the concerns I had, and how much more work it required. I fine-tuned Mati’s character, and took Alex from a meek government employee to a troubled anti-hero who not only helps push Surviving forward, but will transform the next installment in the series, Chasing the Storm.

No, it hasn’t been easy. Maybe if I had written it all in one go, if it wasn’t a jumbled pile of starting and stopping, it would have come together easier. Maybe doesn’t matter here. I was given what I was given, and it’s my job to make it the best it can be. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how much work you’ve put into a piece, if it doesn’t fit, then it needs to go. Have the courage to realize it and keep going.

You can only do what you can do.

It’s not easy finding time to write and publish books with a growing family and a full-time job, especially a job that continues to take most of my time and energy. I’m not looking for sympathy, this is all my choice. If you can call it a choice. I don’t mean to be over-dramatic, but some days it seems to be the only thing that keeps me going.

I’m finicky about a lot of things in life. Meeting deadlines and keeping my word are high on the list. This means I do what I say, even if it’s harmful to my physical or mental well-being. It’s possible I’m coming around, though. Perhaps it’s the years of saying I need to take better care of myself, or the pandemic is changing what I’m willing to give, but I’m moving at a different speed these days. The fact that I’m only human is beginning to settle in as fact.

That’s nice, you say. Everyone can take better care of themselves, but what’s your point? The point is, I’ve decided to push back the launch date of Surviving the Storm. It needs a little more polish, and as much as I’m still coming around to the fact that nothing is perfect, I need this to be as close as it can be for where I’m at in my writing journey. I have a tentative launch date set, but I want to do this right for once, so look out for the official announcement coming soon.

 In the meantime, here’s to facing the future with an open mind and an open heart. I hope you are safe and well.

***

Things You Do When You Can’t Leave the House, and Why Beta Readers Are So Important.

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Where did the last two months go?

I suppose for many it was spent being anxious and confused. Figuring out how to fill your day when you can’t leave the house. Deciding what is acceptable and what isn’t when you do. Wondering how we maintain connections when it’s not okay to hug someone you love. Trying to maintain some semblance of mental health in a world that is full of things to be afraid of.

Because I’m lucky enough to still have a job, I’ve spent a lot of my time working. In between, making sure the kids are keeping up with their online schooling and aren’t going crazy because they haven’t seen their friends in person since March. I’ve also spent a lot of time trying to look through the haze of an uncertain future to figure out what the new normal will look like. How much PPE will I have to wrap myself in to go to a concert? Will going out to my favourite restaurant still be a relaxing and enjoyable experience? How do I sell books about a pandemic, when we’re all living in one?

That time spent looking forward hasn’t been productive. I wrapped myself up in the what-ifs, the fear, and the business of writing was set aside.

Setting aside the things that feed your soul is never a good thing. It leaves pace for unhealthy distraction. At least it does for me.

Things started in a positive enough direction. I organized my office, built a new storage unit that I’m excited about, and I put together a shelf for all things spoopy.

Then bikes happened. I helped a friend find a new bike because they wanted to get back into riding. I finished up a 3-speed conversion on my wife’s bike too.

Next I started planning improvements to my 1942 CCM Rambler, and my Raleigh DL-1.

Then I found a beach cruiser frame for cheap on one of the three buy & sell groups I check every fifteen minutes or so. I justified the purchase by planning to build it up using the pile of parts in the shed. That day I came home with the frame, but also a parts bike to help complete it, and another bike meant to be a parts bike for the Rambler.

Because there isn’t much I won’t do for my people, I started finding and fixing bikes for other friends. I’m sure you can see where this is going. There is nothing but bikes. I currently have eleven of them in the garage.

The amount of time I was allocating to planning the builds alone was excessive. I overwhelmed myself in an overwhelming time. So, last week I smartened up and made the decision to set them all aside. Not forever, but for now. My goal is to finish up the three friend projects this weekend and get rid of two or three others as-is. Then, all going well, I can get back to the business of writing.

Trust me, I’ve got a lot of writing to do. I had big plans to publish three books this year. Even outside of a pandemic, the enormity of this has recently sunk in. It’s not just the amount of work, it’s that I want to put out the best work I can for where I’m at in my writing journey. This is where my gratitude for, and honest belief in beta readers comes from.

In case you’re not familiar with the term, a beta reader is someone who reads your finished manuscript for feedback. In April, I sent out Surviving for that purpose. Much of what I got back was very positive. A few very important issues were raised though. Once said out loud, the concerns that have been in the back of my mind for months and years were now made clear. I saw the holes. I saw where it was lacking. And so, for the second time in about a year, I’m blowing it up. Two key characters are changing. I’ve found ways to speed up the action, to introduce new conflict, and bring some interesting things forward to the third installment, Chasing the Storm.

I have a lot of work to do, and at least in the beginning, I was excited about it. The problem is, regardless of chosen distractions, life will always put obstacles in our path. Pandemics, jobs, and family obligations. All I can do is set my intention, narrow my focus, and get to it.

Pandemics, Real and Imagined

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Image via @mcpheeceo

Any rational human being should be able to look at their life and say,

“You know what, that thing scares me a little, I think I’ll stay away from it.”

Apparently, I’m not rational. I’m also terrible at taking my own advice, choosing to run toward my fears instead of away from them.

I don’t know when or where zombies became such a problem for me. It’s like one day, poof, the mere thought of them keeps me up at night. I’ve never been one to watch them on TV, movies, or read about them in books, with one notable exception, that being World War Z. Oh wait, there’s the Resident Evil movies too. Anyway, like I was saying…

In this instance, I took it one step further. I didn’t just indulge; I wrote a damn book about them. On top of that, they’re not just zombies, they’re pathogen zombies, so it’s like a pandemic. My timing is either perfect, or it’s crap. I guess we’re about to find out. For one, I’m hoping people are looking for something to read in between searching the land for toilet paper.

I’m pretty sure this story has been told before, but let’s take it from the top. Near the end of 2014, as far as my shitty memory can recall, a storm hit the east coast of Canada and the US that threaten to ruin a lot of people’s day. Flights were cancelled and in New York, a curfew set in place. Because I’m the paranoid type, I immediately began to ponder what it might be covering up. The real storm was a bit of a dud. The storm that started to build in my mind, at least to me, was something much more interesting.

Unfortunately, it got a bit messy from there. I started the story, then set it aside. I picked it up for Nanowrimo the year after, then set it aside again. My intention was to publish it along with a collection of short stories before the end of 2017. It turned out that the storm story wasn’t nearly ready, and self-publishing was a little more involved than I thought, so I focused on the collection. That was published a year ago February, and you would think that would give me all sorts of time to get the novel done. Like I mentioned in the beginning, here is where life took some turns on me that I hadn’t anticipated.

A job that I wasn’t super fond of started making me miserable, but I got packaged off. Hooray, right? I decided to drag my best friend onto the creative freight train. Hooray again! So many good ideas! Then life gave me the middle finger and whole new challenges stood in my way. Somewhere in the mess, I decided to make the original Storm novel book two of a three-part series, and I wrote what is now known as Into the Storm.

Into came fairly quick. I tend to focus on how shitty human beings are and explore that in my work, but it’s dark in ways that I haven’t written about before. I was pretty impressed with the first draft but going back to it after a couple of weeks I saw that it needed a lot of work. I believe the words I used were, “this is garbage.” So, I did what is becoming my process, I moved things around by millimetres until I was happy enough with it to push it out into the world. That time is now. Here’s a fun little teaser that we put together for it.

But wait, there’s more. Book two, Surviving the Storm, will be released in three months. Book three, Chasing the Storm, will arrive two months after that. Seems a little crazy, right? Welcome to being me. I will readily admit that it’s a lot to deal with, but I’ve been given a chance to take a shot, and I’m going to take it.

Regardless of everything else going on, I’m proud of the final product. I’m proud that the vision Kaleigh and I have been working on is finally bearing fruit. All going well, this is just the beginning.

Not that I want to dwell on it, but the world is a scary and confusing place right now. If you’re isolating, or just need to get away from things for a bit, I know of a good ebook or two you should check out…

Into the Storm

This and That but Mostly the Other

Until next time, stay safe and well.

Making Old Things Better

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I told myself growing up that I wouldn’t be someone who is busy all the time. I’m here to tell you I failed.

I have a talent for coming up with make-work projects. Cars, guitars, bikes, and repurposing random things into furniture. Books fall into this category as well, but more on that later. My list of projects has been shrinking of late, but I’m sure I’ll come up with more soon.

The latest build came about because I wanted a new corner shelf near the entrance of the house. I’ve built a couple other crate shelves before, but this time wanted to try something different. We found the crates at Ikea. Because they need to be assembled, I thought it would be easier to refinish. I have a quick and easy refinish method that has become my go-to. Paint, distress, stain, and poly. For most projects, it’s a straightforward process. This was not one of those times. It was a pain because of all the slats and nooks and crannies. When we finished, I swore I would never do this again, but I’ve said that before. When it came time to assemble, I wasn’t happy with simply backing them into the corner, so I came up with an arrangement that I think works well. Once in place, washers and bolts run through the slats keep it together and minimise the worry about it shifting or tipping. The finishing touches came from all over the house. The J is in memoriam of my mother-in-law, Jane Arams.

The books came from my Paternal Grandma. She joined a book club in the 50’s and recently decided to pass them along. The camera is something I picked up at a garage sale years ago, but it shows my appreciation for photography and old things.

I purchased the log vase about a year ago, but it never really found a home, until now. The sunflowers are for my wife, Alicia, because they are her favourite flower.

The side tables I built last year were more straight forward. The wood came from the attic of an old shed on my Maternal Grandma’s property as we were readying it for sale. After moving our main floor living room around, I knew we needed some sort of table for coffee cups and books as we sit by the fire, and of course I would rather build than buy. They aren’t perfect, like most things in life, but that in itself reminded me of a few things. Slow down, pay attention, and eventually, things will get better.

My desk was the project that started this whole situation off. I’m not sure how I got the idea, but after finding a pommel horse for free on the local buy and sell, I tore it down and made a plan. It doesn’t get used as much as it should, I tend to sit down on the couch and do much of my work and writing in front of the TV, but it’s something I’m proud to say that I made. It’s unique, and functional, which to me is a win-win.

The anniversary of my first self-published effort is fast approaching. It was intended to be practice for my first novel, but as that project blew up into something more complex, a lot of time has passed, and I find myself more than a little out of practice. At least that’s what the anxiety is telling me. Somewhere along the line I decided to put together a companion, a short-short compilation. After realizing the amount of work I was creating, another project on top of a number of other projects, I decided to add the new stories to the original compilation. The book now benefits from new and better stories, a refined edit, and a few small tweaks to the cover. It also looks a lot nicer, thanks to a little program called Vellum.

Traditionally I format for print using Word, and for ebook using a program called Jutoh. There’s nothing wrong with either, but I’m a huge fan of simple and intuitive. As I write this, I have approved the interior file, and ordered test copies. The plan is to relaunch on its anniversary, February 21st, but it will be a quiet affair. I wanted this effort to bring it to the level I had hoped for it initially. It’s never too late to be better.

If you want to learn more about Vellum, click here.

In other news… Into the Storm is officially in the copy edit stage. If I haven’t upset my editor too much, it should be ready for another pass soon. The cover is coming together, and I’m excited for the final product. The launch. Is planned for April, and it’s a little weird being so far ahead of schedule, but we have an ambitious launch plan so. I know we will need all the time we can get.

My focus for the moment is going through and making revisions to Surviving the Storm. I haven’t looked at it in a while, not really since I chopped the first 2,000 words or so after I realized it wasn’t starting in the right place. I thought it was in pretty good shape, that opinion quickly changed. As you can see, there is a lot of red pen to deal with, or in the case of the first few pages, a lot of pencil.

It’s daunting, but I know I’ll get through it. I need to, I’ve been working on this book for almost three years now, and I’m ready to move on to any one of the eight other projects that I have in the queue. I know I’ll be proud of it, but it’s a moment in time. To some extent I’m ready to show how I’ve grown, how I’m better as a writer.

Shane